The Need to Pause
“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.”
In our fast-paced, stressed-filled lives, pausing for self-care may seem like a luxury of time few can afford. But it's not an extravagance; it's essential for our well-being and happiness. Without it, we place our mental, physical, and emotional health at risk. And we lose the ability to stay connected to ourselves and others. Pausing allows us to take a moment to breathe, ground ourselves, and show up in our life with more presence.
But many women struggle with the idea of pausing, even for just a few minutes. We have been conditioned to believe that we're neglecting others when we take time to tend to our own needs. So placing ourselves first can trigger feelings of guilt and a fear of being judged as selfish.
But the reality is; when we care for ourselves, we are better able to care for others.
Finding moments to pause for self-care in a hectic day may seem difficult at first. But once you start, you will notice the shifts in your energy, mood, and body and appreciate all the goodness it brings to your life.
For women, pausing can be revolutionary. But we have to allow ourselves the freedom to practice it without guilt.
What it means to pause
We all know what a pause means in a sentence or a piece of music – it's that moment when everything else ceases. It's a space of rest, evaluation, and anticipation.
Similarly, when we take time to pause in our own lives, it provides time for reflection, calmness, and connectedness. Pausing as self-care is powerful because we are making a conscious decision to slow down, to put ourselves first. When we pause, we can make clearer decisions, better cope with what comes next, and allow peace and happiness into our lives.
People often equate self-care with activities that take up vast amounts of time, such as day trips to the spa, mini-vacations, or a night away. These are all excellent options if you have the means and when you have the time, but on a day-to-day basis, they aren't practical. A better solution is to care for your needs daily instead of waiting until you reach the point of exhaustion weeks later and you're in desperate need of a retreat.
By taking 5 -15 mins a few times a day to tune into yourself, you can effectively relieve tension. And you will feel more renewed, energized, and productive.
Why we find it hard to pause
We're so used to rushing from one activity to the next, solving crises after crises, or taking care of others that we don't even realize the toll it's taking on us until it's reached a chronic level. But if you've been putting yourself last on your list of priorities, you will eventually burn out.
When we ignore the need to pause, everything in our lives, from our relationships to our health, is affected. The negative impact of busyness is real. It can result in a range of mental and physical symptoms that include but are not limited to:
increased stress and anxiety
sadness
frustration
anger
feelings of inadequacy
increased tiredness
difficulty sleeping
headaches
digestion problems
changes in sex drive
heart disease
A recent poll showed that 80% of women surveyed recognized the value of self-care. Yet, only a third of those women took the time to engage in daily self-care activities. It's a sobering statistic and one that shows us that women need to afford themselves the grace to put themselves first.
The traditional and antiquated message of the self-sacrificing woman still rings loud and clear, and many of us find it hard to shake that convention. But knowing our well-being and quality of life would be significantly improved by pausing throughout the day should be reason enough to embrace it.
How to pause
Learning to pause is often easier said than done, especially when we are inundated with messages that tell us we are worthy when we are busy. But self-worth is not determined by how busy you are or how many people you care for. You are always worthy, and you don't need to prove it by running yourself ragged.
There are so many times in life that we know we could perform better if we took a few minutes to reset, but we ignore the signs and end up in a worse situation. While life will always be hectic, it's important to know when you need to take a step back. Learn to recognize when you need to pause.
A few scenarios where taking a pause would be helpful include the times when you feel:
overwhelmed
stressed
unfocused
unmotivated
rushed
Pausing throughout the day doesn't require a lot of time – just a few minutes to reconnect with yourself, relax, and be present in the moment.
When you think you've reached your limit and know it's time to slow down, try an activity from this list to ground you.
Breathe deeply for a few minutes
Take a short walk alone to connect with nature and yourself
Stretch or perform a few yoga poses to release stress in your body
Meditate 5-15 minutes
Read a book
Dance to your favourite song
Mindfully perform an activity like drinking water or observing the environment around you
Sit outside for a few minutes and breathe in the fresh air.
Take a short nap
It's time to commit to yourself. Invest in your well-being and take a few minutes for self-care every day. You will find that you gain more clarity, feel more at ease, and are more productive as you move throughout your day.
If you would like help on your self-care journey please join my free women’s self-care circle, The Pause! It’s a safe space for you to start or to deepen the connection with yourself.